We all spend too much time worrying about things that will never
materialize. And this worry only makes our lives unnecessarily
complicated and painful. However there is hope. By implementing the
strategies in this article, each of us can diminish our worries and
anxieties, and thereby be free to enjoy life to its full potential.
Delay Worrying
This is a simple technique to stop our worries. If you find yourself
concerned over a situation in the future, you can try telling yourself, “let me worry about this tomorrow; there is no need to worry about it today because it won’t happen for quite a while anyway”.
Whenever the problem comes to your mind, just try this technique –
delay worrying for another day. The fact is that most worries never
occur; delaying them is just a clever way of dealing with our negative
mind. The nature of our mind is to create problems and things to worry
about, but this is a way to forget about them. If you keep ignoring your
worries you may later realize they are not going to occur anyway.
Take Action
When we worry about things we can become paralysed by fear. Rather
than just worrying, think very carefully about what practical steps you
can take to avoid the problem. For example, if you worry about your
finances consider how you could reduce your spending, increase your
income and consolidate your debt.
If you just worry and feel powerless the problem will not go away,
but will continue to lurk in the back of your mind. By taking action and
working towards a resolution you will feel much better. Some problems
shouldn’t be ignored, they require action; however, for other worries
there are no steps that you can take because the worry is mostly
imaginary. If you realize there is nothing you can actually do, this is a
very good reason to stop worrying about it.
Be Careful What You Wish For
When we think about something intensely we give this idea greater
power. In some form these ideas are more likely to materialize. If we
worry over making a mistake, we can increase our chances of doing this.
We therefore need to be careful what we think about; if we worry over a
negative outcome we increase the chance that it will occur – Our worries
can become self fulfilling. If we remember the power of thought, we
will be more careful about dwelling on painful outcomes. Rather than
worrying about a negative event, focus your attention on how difficult
situations could be resolved and think how you would successfully deal
with the problem.
Keep Things in Perspective
Try writing a list of all the things that you are currently worried
about, then examine how much they really effect your life. Are you
worrying about important things in life or merely side issues? If your
worries are insignificant issues then give them the importance they
deserve.- If you don’t get a certain parking space in the morning it is
not the end of the world. If a child forgets to turn a light out, it is
not a big deal. Don’t be overwhelmed by small things – try to see the
bigger picture.
Control Your Thoughts
The key to reducing anxiety and worry is learning the ability to
control your thoughts. Sometimes we feel powerless over our own
thoughts; it is as if we are slave to them. Whatever thoughts may come
we identify with them and accept them as true. However, this is a big
mistake. Our own thoughts are often wrong. Also we do have the ability
to decide which thoughts to pursue and which thoughts to reject; if we
are determined we can prevent thoughts taking hold and throw them out of
our mind. If we give importance to controlling our own mind we will be
less subject to pursuing endless worries and anxieties.
Don’t Be Vain
It might be harsh, but alas true, that we often worry about what
people think of us. We worry endlessly that we might not meet society’s
expectations; we worry about whether people will like us. With this
mental outlook we start to give too much importance to our ego; it means
we are constantly looking for appreciation and the admiration of
others. If we don’t get this appreciation, we start to worry that we are
no good. If we can develop greater self confidence and inner poise,
then we will not worry about what others believe or think.
We need to give less importance to the opinions of the world. Even if
we get criticized, we should not worry because we should not identify
our self worth with the opinions of others. This is not easy to do
overnight, but, if we can detach ourselves from judgements of others we
will gain greater inner peace and avoid worrying over the relatively
insignificance of people’s judgements.
Analyze Them
Another approach to dealing with worries is to carefully analyze
whether they are actually justified. Ask yourself why am I worrying
about this? Could I be wrong? Suppose you are worrying about someone’s
reaction to what you did at work; it is likely that you are imagining
the worse and assigning false motives to the other person. If nothing
else you can sow a seed of doubt in the reason for your anxiety. Before,
you felt it was 100% certain to occur, but, on reflection you have to
admit it is perhaps only 50% true. By analyzing and stepping back from
the problem you can evaluate it’s importance and this is an effective
way to diminish the power of our worries.
There are always things to worry about, but, as it has often been
said, worrying is not going to help. Either take practical steps to deal
with the problem or don’t waste your time worrying about unnecessary
things. If you keep ignoring worries, eventually they will go away. The
key is to live in the present moment; when we worry we are thinking of
the future or past and this prevents us from enjoying the present
moment. To reduce worries and anxieties is not to ignore problems – it
means we work toward solutions rather than just thinking of bad
outcomes.
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