Sound familiar? If so, you are most likely suffering from burnout.
While burnout is not a medically diagnosable condition, most
professionals concur that living with chronic burnout or stress has both
short and long term negative consequences, from weight gain and
forgetfulness to a higher risk of heart disease, car accidents, or
substance abuse.
In the world we live in, it’s not hard to reach burnout. Everything happens faster, at a higher level, with more expectations fueling the speed and magnitude of the output. It’s not enough to meet your goals at work, you’ve got to exceed them (by more than a little) if you want to get that raise or promotion. Due to technology and smart phones, you’re never far from email—and someone is expecting a reply, pronto. You’re not just on the hook for getting your son to football practice each day, you’ve got to participate in the parent’s booster club pre-game tailgate parties, the post-game pizza parties, the all-team game-tape-watching Saturday breakfast, the parent-player team-building golf tournament…
On top of it all, we’ve become a culture that glorifies busy-ness.
There’s a whole myth out there about playing big or going home, having
it all, multi-tasking as a pathway to productivity, and general
all-around over-the-top-ness that we are surrounded by, and it’s hard to
succumb to the pace along with everybody else.
Sometimes, it’s not possible to offload the obligations that are on
your plate. It’s true that your kids still need to be raised, you need
your current job in order to provide adequately for your family, and
your elderly mom continues to need your support. But it is possible to
make little tweaks that can help you stay sane, healthy, and help you
step away from the brink of burnout. Here’s how:
1. Learn to say no. Even if it means that some
things will slip through the cracks for now. When my guy was going
through a particularly stressful period at work, he explained it to me
this way: “It’s like I have about twenty balls in the air right now, and
the main choice I have is to decide which six of them I want to catch”.
Look at all of your tasks, obligations, and responsibilities. Are there
some that you’re willing to drop for the time being? Let them go—you
can always pick them up again later. It’s okay to back out of a
commitment from time to time. The world won’t end, and if it’s really
that important, someone else will pick up the ball and run with it.
2. Make sleep a non-negotiable priority. While it’s
normal to have times when you get so busy you just can’t seem to get to
bed on time, when it becomes a long-term habit it’s likely that you’re
actually making choices that prevent you from getting as much sleep as
you could. I have a friend who went through a long period of stress and
burnout with two ailing parents who both needed care. She was exhausted,
sleep-deprived, and complained of not being able to get to sleep before
3 or 4 in the morning. As it turns out, however, part of the problem
was that she would play games on her iPad as a way of tuning out and
“relaxing”, which then served to keep her hooked and awake way past her
bedtime.
Getting enough sleep is not a luxury, it’s a necessity. It helps
regulate your metabolism, improves your brain function, reduces stress,
and keeps your immune system functioning, among other things. Plus, it’s
one of the most effective ways to refill your energetic gas tank that
there is. Commit to yourself that you will get at least eight hours of
sleep a night, and be vigilant about it.
3. Think small. Whether it’s exercise, nutrition, or
self-care, the last thing you need to do when you’re feeling burned out
is to add MORE onto your plate. Instead, think about small
micro-changes you can make that are easy and sustainable. If the thought
of cooking a healthy meal is overwhelming, try instead to eat one piece
of fresh fruit with a meal. If you don’t have time for your regular
aerobics class, you could simply get outside and walk to the end of the
street and back. The point is to make it easy for yourself to give
yourself what you need, and to ease up on your own expectations of
yourself. When you’re burned out, even a small dose of self-care goes a
long way.
4. Ask for help. If you’re like many people, you
have a belief that all the tasks on your to-do list must be done by you.
Spoiler alert: they don’t. Your kids can be taught to do their own
laundry, make their own lunches, and contribute to the household chores.
Groceries can be ordered online and delivered. A neighbor mom can pick
up your son from practice. Look for places where you can ask for
help—and then let go, and let others help you.
5. Learn one or two simple mindfulness techniques.
Mindfulness does not have to mean spending an hour on the cushion
meditating. During a busy, stressful day, even something as simple as
pausing for thirty seconds to take several full, deep, long inhales and
exhales can be restorative, and slow down the spinning mind monkeys or
racing thoughts. Again, think small—a little pause in the shower to
really feel the water pouring over you, a brief stop on your way to the
mailbox to smell the freshly cut grass—these small moments of tuning in
fully to the present moment can have great power to keep you centered.
Burnout can be an inevitable part of life, but it doesn’t have to
overwhelm you. These simple strategies aren’t difficult to implement,
and they do work. Say no more often. Get some sleep. Think small. Ask
for help. And practice mini-moments of mindfulness. You’ll find yourself
better able to deal with life’s chaos, and have the reserves to do it
with less stress and more resilience.
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