These deep and powerful questions can help us connect with who we
really are: our true selves. They can also help clarify our values and
stimulate creativity.
I figured I would blaze through this assignment initially, putting
down as many questions as I could. In fact, that was all we were
required to do. Fortunately, I took this assignment a step further…
Going deep
I thought to myself: what if I really focused on something that I wanted to shift or change in my own life? This birthed my first question: what is it that I want? Instead of jumping right to another question, I contemplated this one for a while.
In thinking about my private practice, my answer was “to have
an attractive website where potential clients can learn things about
themselves and reality, and where they can get a good sense of how I can
help them.”
Despite the satisfaction my answer brought, it naturally
brought to mind another question: how can I get that?
My response was: “through carefully planning out my site, including
writing good and engaging copy, having nice graphics, a good layout, and
a site that offers them [clients] something they haven’t gotten
elsewhere.” Again, I noticed another question welling up inside in
response: what stands in my way?
“Overwhelm. I feel overwhelmed by all there is to do. I don’t know
where to start. Or if I do, I find myself having to take a step back
and do more before I can lay down a foundation. There’s an attitude of
perfectionism which may be connected to my wanting to do it right…”
Interestingly, things were getting stirred up. Each answer brought
to mind another empowering question. I would sit and ponder each until
it was fully answered. An inner dialog had inadvertently developed.
Destination unknown
In the end, I went somewhere I didn’t expect to go and gained
clarity in the process. The assignment obviously took much longer than
anticipated. But, I was much more immersed in it than if I had simply
rattled off a list of questions.
My takeaway was that I could turn to this process of asking
empowering questions whenever I wanted to shift, change or examine
something in my life. I could also offer it as an exercise to future
clients.
Your turn
I invite you to follow the process I used. First, think about
something you’d like to shift, change or more closely examine in your
life.
If you’re stuck, then simply start with this question: “what do I want to shift, change or really look at in my life?” Consider either the problem or issue at hand, or the end goal or ideal outcome.
After giving this serious thought, actually write down (or type) an
answer to this question. This will help make your inquiry more tangible, getting it out of your head. It also allows you to go back and review previous questions more easily.
Next question please
Next, let the answer guide you to the next logical question. If the
next question doesn’t come easily, consider what someone else might ask
you based on your answer.
If you notice that the questions get deeper and more difficult to answer as you proceed, then this is a good sign.
However, if an answer doesn’t come at all, really sit with or sleep
on the question. Return to the inquiry at another time. Ironically,
this might help you answer the question, even if you’ve forgotten all
about it.
Each answer can be as long or as short as it needs to be. The key is
giving every question sufficient time to marinate in your mind.
All done?
So, how do you know when you’re done? Well, it has little to do
with how many questions you’ve answered. Overall, you should feel
satisfied with the process, even if you don’t like or agree with all of
your answers.
This might mean that something gets stirred up, you see the problem
or issue in a new light, you internalize what you know intellectually,
you gain insight, etc. Whether you’ve gotten your final answer or
you’ve reached a new plateau, it is the journey that is most important.
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