According to cognitive-behavioral theory, it is not external
experiences that contribute to our stress, but rather our thoughts and
feelings. If you can become more aware of these underlying, negative
thoughts, and replace them with more positive and realistic ones, you’ll
be well on your way to living a happier and more productive life, at
home, work, and at play.
Here’s a list of ten cognitive distortions that may be weighing you
down, and some helpful examples of “counter” statements you can use to
get you in a far healthier state of mind:
1. All of Nothing Thinking: Seeing things in black and white; that if one thing goes wrong you think you are a total failure.
Counter Statement: “This is just one event that didn’t go the way I planned, but it doesn’t mean I’m not a successful person.”
2. Overgeneralization: When something bad happens,
you overgeneralize and think that something bad is always happening to
you, when in fact, it isn’t.
Counter Statement: “It seems the whole world is against me
sometimes, but I know that’s really not true; many good things do come
my way.”
3. Mental Filter: You only see the negative in a situation and ignore the positive.
Counter Statement: “My boss didn’t like my marketing plan, but she really loved my choice of graphic design.”
4. Disqualifying the Positive: Finding a reason to not accept positive feedback.
Counter Statement: “It made me feel good when my co-worker said I did a great job on my presentation. I know she meant it.”
5. Jumping to Conclusions: When you make a negative interpretation and conclusion even though there are no definite facts for it.
Counter Statement: “This traffic looks pretty bad, but I know I’ll make it home eventually.”
6. Catastrophizing: You exaggerate the importance of things and they become way beyond their reality.
Counter Statement: “My boss didn’t get back to me when he said he
would, but I’m sure he’s just busy. I can check in with him again at
another time.”
7. Emotional Reasoning: This is when you assume that your negative emotions reflect the way things really are.
Counter Statement: “I might feel a little undervalued, but when I take a step back I do see that my hard work is acknowledged.”
8. Should Statements: When you try to motivate
yourself by having too many “shoulds” and “shouldn’ts” about how you
should act, or how the world should be.
Counter Statement: “It’s healthy for me to accept some things the way they are.”
9. Labeling: Giving yourself or others a definitive label that can not be an accurate description.
Counter Statement: “I know it’s not helpful to say that I’m weak or a
failure. I’m a good person and I can grow, learn, and improve myself.”
10. Personalization: When you see yourself as personally responsible for an outside event; basically, you confuse influence with control.
Counter Statement: “The downturn has affected the economy in
unforeseen ways, but I’m doing well at steering my business in the right
direction.”
What cognitive distortions do you find yourself saying? What are some
of your own suggestions to counteract them, or remind yourself to think
more positively?
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