Let me start off by saying that being nervous can be a good thing.
Being nervous suggests that you may be stepping over the boundary of
your comfort zone, which as Timo Kiander outlined in his post last week is something we should all be striving to do.
However, sometimes the negative association we have with being
nervous can actually prevent us from raising ourselves to new levels.
One solution is to reduce the intensity of your nervousness so that it
does not limit you from reaching your potential.
Over the past year I’ve carried out a lot of research around the
topic of how to control nerves for a book that I’ve recently launched on
the topic of meeting new people called Get Noticed.
Some of the most interesting insights I gained came from a meeting I
had with a public speaking coach who taught me two very important
things.
The first thing I learned was that in order to take control of your
nerves you need to detach whatever it is that is making you nervous from
the situation. Those things may be physical traits or doubting emotions
that make you nervous, regardless of what they may be, you must find
ways of reducing the focus on these elements and highlighting your
strengths instead. Secondly, you have to be prepared and confident about
what you’re doing.
Here are six tips taken from Get Noticed on how you can destroy your nerves:
Detach What Makes You Nervous From the Situation
1) Focus on the objective of the situation
We often get nervous over silly things like what other people are
going to think about our looks. A good solution to prevent this is to
focus on the objective of the situation opposed to focusing on how the
person in the situation may be feeling. For example, if you’re going to a
job interview, think about what they’re looking for and how you can
achieve the job offer through ticking the boxes in their mental
checklist.
2) Have a friend with you
An excellent way of detaching yourself from a situation is to have a
friend or someone you can talk to help you focus on the objective. If
you’re nervous about meeting someone, talk to your friend before hand
and then analyze how it went afterwards. This will help you focus on the
outcome of the interaction from a more rational ‘outsiders’
perspective.
3) Keep yourself busy
One of the main things that make us nervous is having the time to be
nervous. For events that are non-optional and inevitably going to make
us nervous, the best technique to limit nerves is to distract yourself.
Keeping your mind focused on things that don’t make you nervous will
stops your nerves from intensifying as the event gets closer.
Be Prepared and Confident
4) Know what you want to say
Ask any public speaker what their best tip for delivering a great
presentation is and the chances are they’ll tell you ‘be prepared’.
Knowing what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it prevents
you having to think on your feet and worry about what comes next. If
you have a job interview coming up, prepare yourself with answers to
likely questions the interviewer may ask.
5) Be positive and assume the best
When we think about something, we tend to manifest it into our
reality. Everything you’ve ever done, from walking into a coffee shop to
buying a new car, began in the form of a thought. Think positively
about what it is you’re nervous about and you will notice yourself
become less nervous and more likely to succeed.
6) Wear an outfit you feel confident in
When you look great, you feel great. Dressing well shows others that
you respect yourself and the people you’re around. Wearing well-fitted
clothes that project your personal tastes and styles helps to fill you
with confidence and reduce your nervousness.
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