We’ve all been there…that gnawing feeling in the pit of your stomach
when you’re about to give a big presentation, fearful that you may blow
it. The hesitation that grips your chest when you step into a party and
you don’t know a soul, dreading the moment you have to introduce
yourself. Most of the time, when we’re out of our comfort zone…it’s
uncomfortable!
For some people, those same situations seem effortless…enjoyable, in fact.
Ah…yes, the gift of the gab. Some people are born with it, others
come to it by practice. But the gift is not the ABILITY to gab, it is
the ACTION of communicating. Every person on this planet has a gift to
give and when we learn to communicate effectively, we are able to share
our gift with the world.
So, how can it be easier to stand up and start talking?
1. Give yourself permission to be fabulous.
That’s right, you are the star of your own life and the sooner you
start regarding yourself that way, the better.
Forget peering at limp
People magazines lying around your dentist’s office. The fascination
with stardom has left our society crippled. Judging yourself against a
photo-shopped lay-out of famous people walking their dogs, simply drains
your personal energy. YOU are fabulous, in your own unique way. When
you embrace that notion, you create a magnetic presence. TIP: Write
down ten things you love and admire about yourself. Read that list
everyday. When you focus on your fabulousness, others will too!
2. “I am an incredible public speaker.”
This is your new mantra. If you change your story, you change your
life. When you think about a public speaking opportunity, this needs to
be the first thought popping into your mind. Write this statement on
post-its and place it all over your house, your car, anywhere you can
see it, as many times a day as possible.
You are creating a new imprint
in your mind and even if you don’t believe it at first, you will in
time. TIP: If you have a negative thought arise, stop
yourself and repeat “I am an incredible public speaker.” You are
training your mind, and it will take at least two weeks to make the
switch. Practice pays off, so stick to it!
3. Tune In.
There are opportunities to speak up all the time. When you remove
your hesitation about public speaking, you can begin to look for chances
to speak at every turn. Why? Because who knows what will come of
it?! A new job, a promotion, a new contact…perhaps a new love
interest? The possibilities are endless, but you need to regard the
effort with JOY, not FEAR. Now that you have trained your mind to think
positively about public speaking, you can begin searching for your
chance to seize the limelight. TIP: Find at least one
opportunity a week (unplanned) to speak your mind. Start with a no
pressure situation, like chatting with a stranger, and gradually raise
the stakes…a work meeting, an important toast. Make it a game. Trust
me, you are already the winner.
4. Open yourself up to the world.
Head up, shoulders back, and eyes forward. Simple directions that
create wonderful results. When your body is open, you silently
communicate that you are READY to tackle life’s challenges. You are
available to take people in. If your arms are crossed, shoulders
slouched over, eyes withdrawn, you are cut off from the world, hiding
behind your own uncertainty. Now is the time to check in with yourself
and choose to change.
TIP: Notice how you hold your
body in different situations. If you find that you are closing yourself
off physically, subtly change your posture. Feel the difference. How
does the world respond?
5. Now, settle down and listen.
Yes, you will taste the thrill of speaking soon enough and when you
do, you will likely want to go on and on in front on everyone you meet,
but remember, the art of effective communication involves LISTENING.
People love it when you pay attention to them. Take in your
surroundings and give someone the gift of your UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
This one act alone will make people love and appreciate your presence. TIP: Go
to a meeting and purposely do not take your cell phone. Focus your
attention entirely on the conversation, removing any possibility of
personal distraction. You may think you do that already, but c’mon…
aren’t you in the car next to mine making the phone call?
You already have the gift of the gab, so go and give your gift to everyone on your list!
Alexa Fischer is the creator of Lessons for the Limelight.
Inspired by her work as a professional film and television actress,
Alexa translates advanced performance skills into step-by-step
guidelines for anyone desiring to maximize their personal presence. She
teaches how to command the attention of a room, how to deliver
powerful, engaging messages and how to look effortless doing so! Alexa
believes that when you stay connected to your true passion and project
your message effectively, your light illuminates and inspires everyone
around you.
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