Let me be clear: I don’t believe in instant confidence as a permanent
cure for confidence issues. I think what works in the long run is
changing the thinking patterns and belief system which feed
insecurities. And this cannot be done in an instant. It take times and
persistent action.
I do however believe there are often situations when you don’t have
the time to build confidence by addressing the roots and you need an
instant boost for your confidence. There are strategies for this, which
work a lot like a patch over a wound, with a temporary but also positive
effect. This is why from my perspective, this discussion makes sense.
Do a simple search on this topic and you will actually find dozens of
tips and tricks for instant confidence. Which always leads me to one
simple question: which ones work the best and are truly worth applying?
Having tested a lot of them myself, as well as having seen even more
of them at work in my activity as a coach, I’ve selected a couple of
them, which I believe to be the most effective strategies for instant
confidence. Here they are:
1) Dress sharp. Clothes can be an instant confidence
booster, if they’re good quality and look very nice on you. Some
people, when they put the right clothes on, perceive themselves as if
they have armor, they’re more successful or they’re putting their best
selves out there. Dressing sharp can change for a while how you perceive
yourself, what you focus on and thus, how you feel.
2) Breathe. When you feel insecure, it manifests
itself in your physiology and especially in your breathing, which
becomes faster and shallower. Your emotions impact your physiology, but
it can also work the other way. Focus on your breathing: first notice
it, then start to consciously breathe deeper, slower, and more regular.
As you do this, you will quickly notice your negative emotions dropping
and you will feel more confident.
3) Exercise. It’s not about going to the gym and
working out for two hours. That’s not a quick solution. It’s about using
a couple of minutes to do some simple exercising, like stretching your
muscles or running a little. Exercising will help release tension in the
muscles and will boost your level of endorphins, which is the body’s
natural drug for improving your mood, including your confidence.
4) Focus on action. When you feel insecure, your
thoughts will often go into a negative cycle: you start thinking
negative, dramatic things, which trigger more negative and more dramatic
thoughts and so on. One way to get out of this cycle in a moment is to
stop focusing on your thinking and instead, acting. In other words,
you’re getting out of your head by doing something, and thus, you make
the insecurity go down instead of rise.
5) Stop! There is a very simple and effective
technique for dealing with negative emotions in some therapies: you
focus on your internal dialogue, which is full of negative thoughts that
make your nervous, and you say with conviction: “Stop!” Either
out loud, or if it’s not convenient, in your internal dialogue. This
self-command will interrupt the negative internal dialogue for a while,
prevent it from spinning out of control and help you boost your
confidence.
6) Think of your qualities. A lot of times, lack of
confidence is a result of loosing sight of our qualities, exaggerating
your flaws and because of this, thinking you’re going to do terribly.
When this happens, consciously remember your qualities, especially those
which are relevant in the context, and focus on them. If for example,
you are delivering a speech and you know you are very organized in your
speaking, think about this, and it will boost your confidence.
7) Remember positive experiences. When you think of
positive things, you generate and amplify positive emotions, while at
the same time combating negative ones. Think of an experience you had in
which you felt very strong positive emotions, especially confidence.
Close your eyes and visualize it as clearly as you can, with all the
relevant details, as if it were happening again. The better you do this,
the more you will improve your mood, your confidence for the moment.
Using these simple strategies, always remember that even if they may
work well, they are mostly just temporary patches. If you always find
yourself needing them in the same type of situations to feel more
confident, it’s a sign you’re not addressing the roots of your
confidence issues. And addressing the roots is the most important thing
to do in your personal development.
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