We all know it’s not nice to lie. And most of us realize that, aside
from the little white lies that get lumped under the innocuous (and
incredibly flexible) heading of “social lubrication,” lying can be both
negative and highly destructive.
But what about exaggeration? The average person would probably lump
exaggeration in with lying, although most of us consider it more along
the lines of a harmless and annoying fib than serious deceit. But that
mindset may just need a bit of tweaking. In fact, a recent study shows
that exaggeration, far from being either negative or destructive, may in
fact be a vital part of our self-improvement.
According to psychology experts, lying causes stress and significant
mental tension. People who are lying, and who have a vested interest in
getting away with those lies, tense up when they lie, because trying to
remember a lie and make it sound believable takes a lot of energy. But
when people exaggerate, not only don’t they tense up, they seem more at
ease when discussing those exaggerations than if they were talking about
the truth.
This effect was discovered during recent study, published in the journal Emotion, which showed that students who exaggerated their grade point averages did not show the same levels of stress and tension when talking about their grades as they would have if they were lying about something, even when interviewers accessed the students’ actual grades with their permission. In fact, they were calmer than students who had reported their grades accurately. “It was a robust effect, the sort of readings you see when people are engaged in a positive social encounter, or when they’re meditating,” says Wendy Berry Mendes, senior author of the study.
This effect was discovered during recent study, published in the journal Emotion, which showed that students who exaggerated their grade point averages did not show the same levels of stress and tension when talking about their grades as they would have if they were lying about something, even when interviewers accessed the students’ actual grades with their permission. In fact, they were calmer than students who had reported their grades accurately. “It was a robust effect, the sort of readings you see when people are engaged in a positive social encounter, or when they’re meditating,” says Wendy Berry Mendes, senior author of the study.
What’s even stranger is that, upon follow up, researchers found that
students who had exaggerated their grades later improved those grades –
often by exactly the amount they had exaggerated them in the study.
So what’s going on? According to the experts, exaggeration isn’t
lying so much as it is, “… an exercise in projecting the self toward
one’s goals,” as Dr. Richard H. Gramzow puts it, in a recent NYT article
(http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/06/health/06mind.html?ref=science). We
exaggerate not to get away with something, but to rehearse realities
we’d like to create. And in doing so, we sometimes actually manage to
make those exaggerated predictions come true.
In fact, it seems that exaggeration is a built-in mechanism for the
ever popular “fake it ’til you make it” routine. We yearn for something
so bad that we start acting, and talking, like it’s already true. But
over time, wishing it were so (and the cognitive dissonance of it not
being so) can lead us to making those dreams a reality. “Basically,
exaggeration here reflects positive goals for the future, and we have
found that those goals tend to be realized,” says Gramzow.
So the next time someone comes up to you and starts to tell you a
fish tale of epic proportions, relax. Instead of becoming annoyed at
their confabulation, look below the surface at what those exaggerations
say about their hopes, dreams and desires. Who knows, you may just be
getting a glimpse of their future.
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