Challenge is an opportunity: make it gold or a tough stone, it only depends on you, you are your own alchemist.
Every time you overcome a challenge, it will lift you up, build you
strong and make it easier for you to overcome your next trial. But
if you surrender to the challenge, it will downsize you, break a piece
of confidence in you and make it harder for you to overcome it the next
time. It’s like building muscle – the more you train it the stronger it
will become. Once you lift 50 lbs, then adding 5 lbs more is easy. By
adding a harmless 5 lbs each time, with consistent practice you will
eventually lift a magnificent 100 lbs of challenge, effortlessly. But if
you give up on your first 20, 30 lbs, you will never build strong
enough muscles. Make a decision now – do you want to live with powerful
muscles or saggy fat?
Personal story: I overcame my food cravings by passing over my favorite food stores again and again.
I used to be obsessed with all kinds of sweet and fatty foods. I ate
deserts all the time: before, between and after meals. Then later I
found it was not a healthy habit. So I decided to quit it and it was
hard. Every time I pass my favorite stores, I struggle. There were
thousands of voices inside me arguing: Should I eat that cake? Oh I
shoud not eat that sugar coated poison! Should I devour those crispy
chips? Oh I should not shovel that junk into my stomach! Should I get
that insanely rich chocolate? Oh I should so not be tempted by that dark
evil sin…The voice was loud and I was on the edge of breaking
down. But somehow I pulled out the last drops of willpower remaining in
me and managed to pass by the food store once, buying nothing at all. I
felt extremely uneasy until I got back home and tasted my first joy of
small victory: it was delicious. Then I passed by the seductive food
stores again, for the second time. It was a little bit easier because
last time I did it nothing horrible happened except I felt extremely
proud of myself. And I made myself pass those heavenly-scented bakeries
and fast food chains again and again, each time getting bothered less.
Now I have my diet healthily streamlined and I am so happy that I made
the first few tough choices towards fighting my food addictions. It
built good momentum for me to coast by the rest of the temptations
easily and smoothly.
I also transformed my lifestyle into an active one by adding exercise one dose after another.
I used to be an inactive person. I was sitting behind my desk at work
for 8 to 9 hours every day, commuting to work and everywhere else by
taxi and subway, sitting in my couch at home and sleeping for one third
of my life in the bed. I was involved with zero exercise at that time
and lived with very low energy and spirit every day. Then I finally felt
sick of it and chose to add some movement to my life. I changed my
office job into a part-time one and applied for another part-time job
working in a bar. So I made myself stand hours in the venue and walk
around customers all the time. The first days were a “standing hell.” My
feet were screaming “You fat lady!” all day and night. But I stuck
through every minute I wanted to give up, telling myself “Everybody in
this business stands full hours just fine. You can definitely do it too!
Let’s hang on for one week first.” And after that one week,
though with sore muscles everywhere I still came up with the
conclusion that, “This is actually bearable.” So I hung on another week,
then one more after that… until it’s been four months now and I feel as
comfortable as a fish in its pond to stand 20 hours a week in the bar.
And I didn’t only stand in the bar for those four months. It was just a
small trigger that activated the rest of the revolution. I soon fell in
love with bicycling. I rode my bicycle to work, to meetings and to many
romantic spots in the town. I was on the road for a minimum of one hour
every day. I also got myself involved in a “stand up computer”
project and was standing at the computer four hours everyday on average.
It has become my most comfortable position to play with the computer
now. I also touched up my life with dancing and stretching. Whenever my
body feels stiff I give myself a good stretching and a round of dancing
too if the mood is there. Basically I became quite an active person now
and this is not at all hard as I so self-convincingly imagined in my
couch for the past years. I am so happy that I made the first tiny steps
to walk out of my comfort zone. Soon I was catching up with the rhythms
and running spontaneously.
So what is your challenge that you are afraid of? Face it now, conquer it and let it leverage you even stronger.
If you are too timid to speak up for yourself in daily life, then
regardless of your fears, force yourself to say one word out of the
heart every day. At first, you will only mumble nonsense and totally
sound like a nerd. But just keep throwing the balls, you will
eventually hit some targets and organize clear sentences.
If you are suffering in your current life but don’t think you deserve
a better one, then you will keep living in the suffocating situation.
To breathe new air, you need to step out of your dead zone. Once you
buck up and make the first courageous step, then adding a few more steps
is not that a big deal and soon you will walk farther away from the
cave you hated.
It is always easier to do nothing about the challenge and remain in
the status quo. But I strongly suggest you choose a harder choice, fight
with your challenge and let it lift you to a higher position with more
beautiful views. Once you get started with throwing a few bold punches
into life, you will soon feel comfortable to box with those opponents
you thought so tough and tall. And later you will get so good at your
skills that you must call in stronger competitors to the ring to match
the game and have more fun. Be that aspiring boxer in your life.
As Nietzsche put it, “That which does not kill us makes us stronger.”
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