Most of us are in constant mental chatter. We talk to ourselves all
day long and, unfortunately, this self talk is frequently negative.
Often it is tainted with guilt about our past or anxiety about our
future. This negativity can destroy any seed of hope that we may
otherwise have in striving for our dreams.
Our actions are inspired by our thoughts. If we can change the way we
think, we can begin to change the actions we take. It is human nature
to seek personal growth; whether financially, emotionally, physically or
spiritually. Practicing positive self talk can help us set in motion
actions that will bring us greater rewards.
The following are seven steps to positive self talk. By following
these steps you will begin to rid your inner conversations of negativity
and instead have empowering thoughts.
1. Eliminate Internal Negative Chatter
The first step is one of awareness. It will be hard to make a change
to positive thinking without being acutely intimate with the thoughts
that run through your mind. Recently, I was amazed to discover deep
buried emotions from negative thoughts that I had for fewer than 10
minutes. Without awareness, I would have carried the hurt and anger
inside. Awareness helped me to bring them out to the open for me to deal
with.
Undoubtedly it will not be easy to make a switch if you have a long
history or negative self talk. Your talk became negative over the years
due to various factors. For instance, if your first grade teacher
repeatedly told you that you were “stupid”, you might believe it to be
truly the case. You would find that your inner chatter would often be
filled with talk of “I am so slow” and “it is so hard to learn”. If you
constantly tell yourself such negative stories, your actions are going
to reflect your low self esteem. It will be difficult to get very far if
you are always putting yourself down.
A common negative talk involves telling yourself “I can’t”. When you
say to yourself “I can’t” or “it is too difficult”, you are creating a
resistance. Having such a mental block will prevent you from achieving a
task you could otherwise succeed at.
Anytime you catch yourself saying “I can’t…”, turn around and
challenge your own claim with, “Why can’t I?” Research shows that most
geniuses became the people they are also because of the hard work they
put in. So if you would like to be successful, you need to start saying
“I can” a lot more.
A great method that I have also found useful is to say “Cancel
Cancel” each time I find myself saying something negative, whether in
the mind or verbally. The method works if you sincerely have the intent
of becoming a positive thinker.
2. Positive Affirmations
Affirmations are positive statements of a desired outcome or goal.
They are usually short, believable and focused. By repeating them over
and over again, you build inroads into your subconscious mind, opening
up the possibility of a new state of thoughts.
An important step when repeating affirmations is that you need to
read your affirmations aloud with feeling. The mere reading of the words
bears no consequence unless you put some emotions behind them. Of
significant fact is that your subconscious mind takes any orders given
in complete faith and after repeated self talk. So the daily practice of
repeating affirmations is important.
Initially you may be skepticism toward the statement of your positive
affirmation. However, if you follow this simple set of instructions
your skepticism will soon give way to a new set of beliefs and then
crystallized into absolute faith.
3. Positive Scripts
One thing that you may observe is on how easy it is for your mind to
build negative thought upon negative thought. The chatter not only does
not stop but it spins a drama that traps and limits you.
From now on, regularly do this exercise instead. Spin an uplifting
story that runs like a movie script. Some visualization will be helpful.
You build on a story with a positive outline. The longer you can tell
this story to yourself the better. It is also best if you can make this
story one about having all your goals achieved. When you do this, you
start to internalize your goals and dreams, as if they are something
that you have already achieved.
4. Replace Negative Influences with Positive Ones
It is important that you identify external negative factors in your
life which may be holding your thoughts hostage. For instance, your
mental state can become toxic by being around friends who are negative.
If you are not vigilant enough, you will start to adopt their thoughts
as your own. Hence, be alert to what your negative influences are. If
they come from certain friends, limit your exposure to them as much as
you can. Refrain from discussing your plans with people who will be
unsupportive of your dreams and goals.
Instead surround yourself with thoughts and actions from people who will empower you.
From being uninspired and de-motivated, you will begin to feel uplifted
and driven to greater self growth. The positive energy that they vibrate
will start affecting the self talk that you engage in as well.
5. Present Tense Messages
You may find yourself daunted by the many things you need to do in
order to reach your goals. It just seems overwhelming to become the
success that you secretly desire for. Your mind gets caught up in an
endless stream of worry.
What may be helpful is to concentrate on steps you can take in the
present. If you find yourself becoming stuck, stop and say, “What can I
do right now?” Change your internal talk from a future anxiety ridden
one to one that is about the more manageable present. You cannot control
what will happen in the future but you can take the necessary steps now
that will build a better tomorrow. Taking the necessary steps require
you to focus your thoughts and inner talk on Now.
6. Confront Fears
Fear is often what holds you back from your success. You are scared
of taking chances because you fear losing the security that you enjoy
now. You try to convince yourself that you are happy in your current
state when in fact, you are not. Your self talk may sound positive in
your attempt to lie to yourself. But somehow, there is an inner knowing
that you are short changing yourself.
Ask yourself what you are afraid of. What can be the worst that can
happen? Take a step-by-step approach in breaking down your fears and see
if there is any way round to looking at things more positively. When
you confront your fears, you will often realize that the worst case
scenario is not as bad as you think. In fact, the benefits of change are
worth the risk. Your inner talk begins to change at this point.
7. Focus on Enjoyable Moments
It is much easier to have a positive attitude if you focus on the
enjoyable moments in life rather than the difficult ones. While there
will inevitably be challenges, you need to remember that life consists
of ups and downs and the good times are forged through the bad.
So choose to fill your mind with positive images and thoughts. Make
it a conscious habit. Simply bring your mind back every time it goes
astray in its thoughts. For a start, if you can be grateful for what you
have presently, your self talk will also change to be in alignment with
one of joy. A state of gratitude does wonders to your psyche.
Conclusion
Replacing self talk from a negative to a more positive one is not
going to happen overnight. If your mind has ingrained habits of thinking
negatively, it will take some work and time. However, if you find
yourself often struggling, unable to achieve your goals and talking
yourself down, then you should grit your teeth and commit to the process
of change.
By following the above tips to positive self talk, you will
experience an improvement in the quality of your life. The rewards are
plentiful with greater happiness, peace and joy. Best of all, you feel
empowered. With the change in energy, you are more likely to reach your
highest potential and achieve success.
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