“Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain” – Robert Gary Lee
It happened suddenly. I remembered feeling hopeless, having walked 23 miles from my office to my home in the bitter London weather.
I couldn’t understand why I felt so hopeless having been asked to
leave at my job for reasons I couldn’t comprehend. It brought back
memories of my childhood having felt different from everyone else.
I knew I had things inside me to communicate yet felt as though my problems couldn’t be understood.
I knew there was something wrong with my life and sat on a nearby
bench contemplating what it could be; wondering whether who I was, was
fit for the world.
For the first time, my downward spiral took a dip. I felt useless and unable to figure out why.
I eventually began to ask myself questions
Something inside of me knew what the problem was and yet I found it
difficult to take notice of it. This feeling empowered me and started to
see clarity.
I started to notice all the negative self-talk I was giving to
myself. All the doubts and fears; the very things that were causing me
to feel the way I was.
Here’s what I realised and something to bare in mind:
1) Life is what you make of it
What if life really is open to interpretation?
Granted, we can’t control the things around us, but we can control
how we feel towards it. I knew the answers to my problems but refused to
take it on board due to my victim mentality and refusing to take
responsibility.
I knew at that moment that in order for my situation to change, I had to change.
I can’t change how others would treat me, but I could surely change how I treat myself.
The truth is, the only way we can ever control how others perceive and treat us is through ourselves. No one can label us as accurately as ourselves.
This realization made me understand that all I was ever doing was hurting myself by treating myself irresponsibly.
And this can often be quite difficult to get out of since our
negative beliefs and actions begin responding to us from our external
surroundings, which eventually creates a negative feedback loop.
2) It all starts from our home
What was it that moved me?
How do other people see me when they look and communicate with me?
What do I want from this world?
What do I hope to give?
All questions I began asking myself, which sparked a new motivation to evolve and rise above from my downward spiral.
3) It was never about others, but about me
I started to build clarity in what I wanted rather than what I didn’t.
Everything is within our power to be and do anything we want. I
believe the cause of most depression and anxiety stems from our
inability to take control of our lives.
It’s at this stage where most of us get stuck. But the truth is, when
you look deep enough, you begin to realize that most of your resources
solve whatever problems you may have.
It takes courage to admit this at times, but the truth is always a bitter pill to swallow.
All of the love, courage, compassion and motivation is something we
all have. And it’s up to us to realize this on a daily basis. Perhaps,
this is why life is the way it is. To make us learn more and more about
ourselves.
4) Find ways to express yourself
Having understood my introverted nature and my inability to
effectively communicate verbally. I knew I had to find other ways to
express myself.
My need for writing and drawing was perhaps the only thing that made
me feel better. It allowed me to think and unload everything from my
mind, yet provided others with a vehicle to see my thoughts on paper.
What’s your medium of communication?
Whether it’s through music, painting or cycling. Find out what it is
and embrace it. We all have an inner gift to shine to the world. It’s
after all, why we’re all here.
5) Strength isn’t given. It is built
The more I look back on my struggles, the more I saw it’s true
benefits. I never once understood why things were the way they were at
the time, but looking back, it was perhaps the greatest gift ever given
to me by life.
Like a parent giving tough love to their children, It was all for the
best. Yet it gave me the experience to embrace whatever was to come at
me with full force.
Have faith that with every storm will come sunshine and warmth. For
that’s what life is designed to do. It is never constant, but a journey
of self-discovery.
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