“Anyone here look like slave to you?”
In the eighties there was a hilarious BBC comedy sketch series called
The Real McCoy and one of my favourite clips was from Miss Rees
(Miserys!) West Indian Restaurant.
In one scene, a customer sits down and waits for the waitress to take
his order. She rolls her eyes, sucks her teeth and asks “Anyone here
look like slaaave to you?”
This lady knew she was beholden to no-one and took it to the extreme.
But on a serious note, I think there is an awful lot of modern day
slavery going on it our heads.
As Jean Jacques Rousseau said “Man is born free, but everywhere he is in chains.”
Of course, I am talking about psychological chains and as the apostle
Peter said in 2 Pet 2: 191 “a man is a slave to whatever has mastered
him.”
What has mastered most of us? Ourselves. We have lied to ourselves
about our lack of power and then forgotten that we believe a lie.
Lao Tzu said “He who conquers others is strong; he who conquers
himself is mighty. But I don’t see many people conquering themselves.
In fact, every day I see and hear people (and I don’t exclude myself
entirely from this group) thinking and acting like slaves – to their
limitations. It’s as Henry Ford said “Argue for your limitations and
you’ll be sure to get them!”
The problem is that we don’t know that we’re slaves, because our
minds, like the Matrix, have “pulled a world over our eyes”. That world,
as Professor Michael Hall would describe it is our personal matrix of
frames (a blanket term for every mental phenomenon from beliefs to
values) that generates the illusion.
Our beliefs act like trance inducers, convincing us of their
rightness plus they also act as what NLP Master Robert Dilts calls
‘attractors’ in that, like magnets, they attract proof of their own
rightness.
And as a result, King Solomon said 3000 years ago “every man is right
in his own eyes” and humans haven’t really changed since then.(Proverbs
21:2)
So, we have a problem. We are seemingly stuck inside
our own ‘reality’, thinking that it is Reality. And it’s only a small
step (up) in our minds to come to believe that our beliefs are True
(rather than fallible re-presentations of the world around us)
This, as Hall says, is the structure of fundamentalism, to believe
that our beliefs are real rather than ‘maps of the territory’. I presume
this is how people convince themselves to strap bombs to themselves and
blow themselves up in crowded places. Or maybe it’s just to the
convinced there is no need for convincing. Don’t bother me with the
facts – I know what I believe…? And before anyone comments, this is a
problem common to everyone, not just those with particular religious
beliefs…!
This stance also prevents change. If my beliefs about my inability to
‘run my own brain’ (and break out of slavery to my desires) are REAL
and even worse, this is who I am, then the whole thing adds up to a
self-induced sense of bondage.
So can we step back from mental slavery?
We are blessed with the ability to step back from our thoughts.
NLPr’s refer to this as taking perceptual positions but its simply the
ability to reflect on what we were just thinking. And it’s not a special
skill, you don’t it all the time, don’t you? (and if you asked “Do I?”,
you just did it!) It’s part of your God-given meta-cognition.
What most people don’t realise is that stepping back from your thoughts brings several powerful processes into play.
First, you gain a mental position of power. You can now, like a king
or queen of your domain, evaluate whether or not these thoughts serve
you.
This is because when you go above or ‘meta’ to your thoughts you gain
the ability to bring transformative resources to bear on the content of
your previous thoughts. This is not collapsing anchors, it’s
meta-stating and it’s what I use to radically change peoples’ lives
whilst coaching them.
When people say they are stuck I know they are not ACTUALLY stuck,
they have just believed themselves into a corner that they have no
options.
I’m going to let you into one of the secrets of running your own brain.
You can always step back and question the belief you think you can’t question or change.
And that is one of the secrets to breakthrough change.
Find the taboo belief, the one that seems most real, most who you
‘are’ (and don’t like) and question it. This takes a willingness to
question the felt realness of your ‘reality’.
I am reading a wonderful book called the Art of Spiritual Discernment
and it talks about our modern concept of truth (which seems to be very
relative and conveniently means no-one can actually tell you do anything
unless it’s your truth – sounds like a recipe for world anarchy to me!)
and the concept of Truth.
I do believe that Truth exists. And that the Truth will set you free.
Even if you don’t believe there is an Ultimate Truth I can prove in a
small way that truth (what is real) is very important to you.
Go into a shop and quietly ask the assistant to give your friend the
wrong change. Then get the assistant to argue “there is no truth” so
there is no true right or wrong change…and step back.
Truth is important for not getting killed. Don’t drink the bottle with the skull and crossbones on it. Stay off the motorway.
It is also TRUE that you can make your own decisions. And you don’t
have to obey other people. I am not arguing for non-co-operation or
pure stupidity but as my wife says “other people want you to change to
suit them, but they don’t want to change to suit you”.
I am also not arguing for a world free from moral boundaries. I
believe, actually, that when we know our boundaries in all areas we
become more free to be creative and actualise our potential. Ask Edward
De Bono, creator of Lateral Thinking. He shows us that in many cases to
make a creative leap we have to have a limit to leap over….!
Budhha said: “…he, indeed, who would conquer himself is the noblest victor”
So are you ready to conquer yourself?
Annoyed at putting up with your rubbish for so long? Don’t get even,
get mad. As I have written elsewhere on this site, psychological energy
(read strong emotion) is necessary to break free from the attractors.
So here’s some questions to annoy you and get that energy going.
- Ho much longer are you going to continue fighting for your right to be a slave?
- How much longer are you going to insist on this slave mentality?
- Why are you fighting so hard for your own weaknesses and lack of self-control?
- When are you going to make a decision to take responsibility for your decisions?
If you want help resetting your frames to unleash the best you there
is, and to actualise your potential at work and at home request a free
explore your breakthrough session at www.livingwords.net
Or if you want help building frames of strong esteeming, and
ownership of your thoughts and feelings and actions and words – then get
the Personal PowerPack at www.personal-powerpack.com
I hope you can start saying today: “Anyone here look like slaaave to you?”
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