The most important person behind each of your decisions has to be
yourself. Your health and attitude are what give you the ability to
perceive everything else around you. Often times, we initially make our
decisions based on how someone else will react, or how fitting the
decisions are to society’s standards, but society would not be visually
available if you couldn’t see it, or audible if you couldn’t hear it.
This is a reminder to put yourself first in a big way. Although it
may be a big way compared to what you were doing before, it is probably
not big enough compared to how relevant your presence is in the world.
Conversation Example
With all the hesitation that you may face when going up to someone in
a public setting, conference, or party, most of that hesitation doesn’t
take into account that, if it was not for your senses and perception,
the person would not be there for you to make conversation with. You’re
a puzzle piece in the interaction just as much as they are a puzzle
piece in the interaction. When we assume that our presence is not meant
as part of an event, we lose the majority of our socializing energy,
and get stuck in a mental circular loop of doubt or questioning.
I might have written this article, but as you read it, all the
marbles are on your side of the table. If you close your eyes, my text
is not there(except in visual or verbal memory), and the only person
that is left will be you and your thoughts. You have to keep this in
mind when making decisions. After various interactions or questions
with others, the point that you always return to is home base in your
own mind. This constant reminder gets you to toss away any debilitating
thoughts of how people will react, which I know have cut off my actions
an immeasurable amount of times.
Two Thought Patterns
Here are the two patterns I routinely see us take, if I had to bifurcate(split) them into a common type and a successful type:
Common Type
- Have a thought
- Doubts come into the mind about how others will perceive it
- Worry and fear comes from each option related to that thought
- Disappointment comes from not even being able to carry out one idea
- The result is nearly no action, and a bit of frustration
Successful Type
- Have a thought or idea
- Have a doubting thought about it, or how people will perceive it
- Crush the doubt in the mind, based on the idea that you also have a say in how the world works
- Keep crushing any doubts while implementing the idea
- See the gains from taking action, and end up without that frustration from not putting yourself first
As you can see, the common way to act gets you almost no output, and
also gets you frustration or disappointment, so it is a lose-lose
scenario, regardless of the first intent to not let others down. Now,
looking at the successful way to act, you can see that it might look
rude during the process, in that it doesn’t seem to include much concern
about others. However, the result is real action and productivity,
lack of disappointment because the process was completed smoothly, and
lastly, a result for others that is more beneficial to them than the
intent the average type of person would have during the entire time.
This case is a win-win scenario. Don’t let that “intent to be proper or
not offend” be what constantly leaves you with no end product.
Discard Any Hindrance From Family And Friends
I also have to add in this section about how your family affects you.
For those of you who constantly limit yourself due to your family, and
don’t want to disappoint those closest to yourself, realize again that
you are “numero uno” in that context as well. Family provides larger
internal pressure than friends or colleagues, but you have to take this
pressure and use it to create more for yourself. Doing something just
to impress a family member will leave them wondering if you have your
own foundation of goals and intent.
Put yourself first in a big way, because this whole world is only there because you can see it and hear it and feel it.
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