“Whatever your mind can conceive and believe it can achieve.” – Napoleon Hill
The way you think has the ability to turn your deepest desires into
reality or, alternatively, keep you chained to mediocrity. This article
looks at eight patterns of limited thinking – as identified by Dr. S
McKay, Davis, and Fanning in their book, Thoughts and Feelings: Taking Control of Your Moods and Life – and
how they can be resolved. Breaking these patterns of limited, habitual
thought will free you to realize your full potential in life.
1. Overgeneralization
This pattern is characterized by broad, general conclusions based on a
single incident or piece of evidence. Overgeneralization often takes
the form of absolute statements and uses words such as all, every, none,
never, always, everybody and nobody. For example, if you read too many
personal development articles you may believe all television is a waste of time.
You can stop thinking in absolutes by using words such as may,
sometimes, most and often. Saying some, or even most, television is a
waste of time is far easier to take seriously than simply saying all of
it is.
2. Polarized Thinking
This is black-and-white thinking, with no room for shades of gray.
People and things become either good or bad, smart or stupid, brave or
cowardly. President Bush’s declaration in the aftermath of 9/11,
“You’re either with us, or against us” is a famous example of such
thinking. And we all know know what has happened since….
Fight the urge to make black-and-white judgements by accepting people
and things are too complex to be reduced to “either/ or” judgements.
This is especially important in regards to judging yourself. Allow
yourself some room to make mistakes without automatically labeling
yourself a failure.
3. Filtering
3. Filtering
Filtering can be thought of as a type of tunnel vision – focusing on
one element of a situation to the exclusion of everything else. For
example, you may write an article that hits the front page of Digg. But
rather than focusing on this success, your thoughts are distracted by a
handful of negative comments.
To break this pattern, make a conscious effort to shift your focus to
the opposite mental theme. In this case, focus on the positive feedback
and enjoy the moment as it is not every day your blog hits the front
page of Digg (unless you are Arianna Huffington).
4. Mind Reading
This pattern occurs when you make snap judgements about others. You
may, for example, assume a girl who is not paying attention to you is
thinking, “He is not up to my standards”. This may be based on
intuition, past experiences or a process called projection, whereby you
imagine people feel the same way you do and react to things the same way
you do. And while your assumptions may be true, often they will turn
out to be completely wrong. Perhaps she is very interested in you but is
simply shy?
One way to tackle this pattern is to treat assumptions about people
as hypotheses to be tested and checked. Gather evidence before making
inferences about people. And if you do decide to follow your intuition,
be aware your assumptions may reflect yourself rather than the reality
of someone else.
5. Catastrophizing
Catastrophizing occurs when your imagination focuses on the potential
for tragedy and disaster. Just as Chicken Little worried the sky was
falling after an apple fell on her head, you may fear swimming in the
ocean after reading a news report of a shark attack on the other side of
the world. Catastrophic thoughts often start with the words “What if?”
What if I injure myself playing sport? What if this plane crashes? What
if I lose my job? Such catastrophizing creates anxiety and can result in
you missing out on some of life’s greatest pleasures.
The most effective way to deal with this pattern is to evaluate a
situation in terms of odds or percent of probability. Are the chances of
disaster one in 1,000,000 (0.00001 per cent)? Or, are they closer one
in a thousand (0.1 per cent)? When it comes to sharks, there were 71 unprovoked attacks worldwide in 2007. Perhaps you should be more concerned about the car ride to the beach than swimming in the ocean….
6. Magnifying
This involves emphasizing things out of proportion to their actual
importance. Minor suggestions become scathing criticism. Small mistakes
become tragic events. Slight obstacles become overwhelming barriers.
To overcome this pattern, pay attention to the language you use. Stop
using words such as disgusting, awful and terrible. Also, toss out
phrases such as “It’s unbearable”. Guess what? It is bearable.
History has shown time and time again that human beings can cope with
almost any psychological blow and can endure incredible physical pain.
7. Personalization
Personalization can take two forms. First, you can directly compare
yourself to other people, eg “He writes far more eloquently than I do”.
Such comparisons may actually be favorable to you, eg “I am better
looking”.
Either way, there is an underlying assumption here that your
worth is questionable. Consequently, you seek out ways to test your
value and measure yourself against others. Personalization can also take
the form of relating everything back to yourself. If you’re partner
tells you she is bored or depressed, you may automatically think you are
the cause of this feeling.
This pattern of limited thinking can be broken by recognizing most
comparisons are meaningless. Each of us has our strong and weak points.
Matching your strong points to other people’s weak points usually has
little purpose except to feed your ego.
8. Shoulds
In this final pattern, you live according to a set of inflexible
rules about how you and other people should act. You have a fixed view
of what is right, and those who deviate from your particular values or
standards are bad. And you are just as hard on yourself. Some common and
unreasonable “shoulds” include:
- “I should never be tired or get sick”
- “I should always be totally self-reliant”
- “I should never make mistakes”
- “I should always be happy”
To overcome this pattern, try to have greater flexibility in the
rules or expectations you feel compelled to live by. And when it comes
to other people, it is important to accept their individuality and
uniqueness. You should accept that other people won’t necessarily live
according to your values. After all, your personal values are just that –
personal.
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