It doesn’t take a genius to figure out that limiting beliefs are, well… limiting. Duh, right?
Well, they’re not just limiting. They ruin lives. They keep us from being authentic and living the way we really want to live.
There are many times where I’ve wanted to say something, tell someone
how I really feel. But I hold back. Why? Because I’m afraid of how
they’ll respond. I’m afraid they’ll think I’m weird. What’s worse, is
they might have similar beliefs. That could make things even more
uncomfortable. So I keep my mouth shut. I stay quiet and try to forget
about whatever it was that I really wanted to say. Or I just say something expected, something safe. And I feel like a little bit of my soul is repressed.
A more specific example is with my music. I play drums, djembe
to be specific. I’ve always wanted to be a musician, and I’ve always
liked rhythm. (Just ask my wife how much I tap on things.) For the
longest time, I thought I didn’t have any rhythm. I thought because I
was a white boy, it would be really hard for me to play the drums (white
boys supposedly can’t dance, so why should they have any rhythm?).
Anyway, I had all these limiting beliefs about what it was I could and
couldn’t do and it held me back. I would practice and practice but I
would still fumble and be off-beat. It wasn’t until I let go of my
limiting beliefs about whether or not I had rhythm, that I started to
really improve my playing.
Hello?
Hello?
Am I the only one that thinks that’s crazy?
There was nothing physically holding me back from being a good
drummer. I practiced all the time (if you have two hands and knees to
tap them on, you can practice drumming anywhere). I honed my skills. But
I still wasn’t playing as well as I could until I started believing
that I could be good.
The takeaway is this:
The majority of the time there is no physical limitation to your success. There is only mental limitation.
That mental limitation is not anything based on reality. You can choose to accept it, or leave it at anytime you wish.
If we’re going to beat the plague of limiting beliefs, we need some
tools help us. Here are a few things that have helped me overcome these
restrictive vampires:
1. Most limits are imaginary. Most limitations we
have with ourselves aren’t real, they are simply imagined. If you
realize this, it’s a lot easier to drop these beliefs. It’s hard to
stick with something that you know is only an illusion.
2. Question authority.
We have an unnatural habit of thinking that the norm is some
unbreakable standard that we should never question. If you want to break
out of the pattern of limiting beliefs, you have to question the
authority that they came from. Who said you couldn’t do what you want to
do? Why are you giving them the right to dictate your life?
3. Listen to your heart. The practical mind will
usually weigh the likelihood of an occurrence based on the past. Forget
what you’ve done in the past, listen to your heart. Learn to see with
your heart, as well as your mind.
4. Temporary drop unwanted beliefs. You don’t have
to do it permanently. I know giving up these beliefs can be scary at
first, because we identify with them. We think if we lose this belief, a
part of us too is lost. Well, I’ve got some news for you. You are not
your beliefs. You are much more than that. And so what if you contradict
yourself? In the words of Walt Whitman “Do I contradict myself? Very
well, then I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes.”
Drop your limiting beliefs for a while about what you think you are
capable of. Drop limiting beliefs about what you think is even possible.
You can always go back if you don’t like it. But have the courage to
see for yourself. If you like what you find, maybe you’ll find it makes
more sense to have liberating beliefs. Ones that lift you up and give
you wings. Not ones that keep you tethered to the ground.
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