The truth about affirmations:
With all of these books around touting the benefits of affirmations,
Psychologists became curious to know whether they actually worked.
They brought together many different subjects, having various degrees
of self confidence and told them to repeat positive statements about
their self confidence such as “I am confident” and “I am worthy”
What was found is that confident people felt more confident after the
experiment while those who lacked confidence felt even worse.
The explanation is simple, when you repeat a statement that matches
your inner belief system your subconscious mind will be reminded of the
statement and will let you feel good if it was a positive one, on the
other hand if you tried to force your subconscious mind to believe in
something against its belief system it will sense the deception and so
make you feel guilty.
In short, affirmations can never make you happy if you weren’t
already happy nor can they make you more confident if you weren’t
already feeling confident.
We are not the same:
We are not the same:
Read as much as you can about happiness and you will find that most of
the sources describe happiness in a different way. Some people will tell
you that true happiness is in success, others will tell you that its in
fame a third group will tell you that true happiness is being rich.
Everyone describes happiness from his own perspective without putting
in mind that humans, unlike ants, are completely different and that
what makes Sam happy would never make Sarah happy.
The conclusions is, everyone has his own belief system and according
to it his own true happiness differs from others. The key to becoming
truly happy to first understand the things that really make you happy
then go on a quest to bring them.
Happiness and unmet needs:
If a person lived his life suffering from poverty then became a
millionaire he will be the happiest man ever (provided that money was
his only problem). Research has shown that normal people who win the
lottery return back to their original mood after getting used to it but
those who have financial unmet needs never get used to the things they
missed in the past.
Happiness In short can be achieved by understanding your unmet needs
and working on fulfilling them. If your unmet need is intimacy then
money, fame or positive thinking won’t make you happy but only intimate
relationships will.
Find your unmet needs, work on fulfilling them and you will discover
real happiness. If you are Hungary then nothing will make you feel good
except eating and if you tried to drink instead of eating you will still
feel Hungary.
Happiness is the absence of bad emotions:
Happiness can also be defined as the absence of bad emotions. If you had
a fight with one of your friends in the morning you are less likely to
feel happy that day because of the anger you experienced.
Many of us follow life styles that promote stress, anger, frustration
and other bad emotions. Even if emotions weren’t intense still they
would never allow you to feel happy if they existed.
You must learn how to avoid stress, negative people, unneeded
quarrels and any other source of negative emotions that can be avoided.
Happiness and incorrectly set priorities:
Ask anybody about his priorities and he will tell you that happiness is
one of them, ask him about the things that he does in life and he will
reply saying that he hates most of them.
How many people work at jobs that they hate then claim that happiness is a priority in their life?
How many people stay in abusive relationships yet claim that they want to live a happy life?
If you really want to be happy then happiness must be considered a
priority that has an impact on the decisions you make in your life.
To summarize this all, becoming happy is all about understanding what
makes you happy then doing it and knowing what makes you feel bad then
avoiding it.
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