Do you often find yourself dealing with self-doubt? It might be that
you frequently second guess yourself. Did you just make the right
decision? Or maybe you don’t have much hope that you did well on that
crucial job interview, text, or even date.
What’s so bad about self-doubt is that the more you doubt yourself, the more likely your fears are going to turn into reality.
I would somehow create these unfavorable turn of events in my head
and replay them a couple of times, almost like I was preparing myself
for them. Then one way or another, a version of those events, what I
didn’t want to happen, would occur. Why? Because I was sure it would and
I made it happen.
However, if you try to be more self-confident, better things follow.
When you have confidence in yourself, you strengthen your
decision-making skills.
What’s more, people tend to be drawn to you, you are more productive,
and you are in a better position to create the life you want, no one
you don’t.
Below are 5 simple ways you can quash your inner critic and have more confidence in yourself:
1. Give yourself a moment to pause and think why exactly you are doubting yourself.
Try to remember past events that caused your feelings of insecurity.
When you’re facing something you don’t think you can successfully
complete, it can cause you to doubt yourself.
Do you often find that you are putting yourself down? Perhaps
subconsciously, you’re repeating negative thoughts and these thoughts
are what’s keeping you from progressing.
Do you often say things like, “I’m never going to be good enough for
this” or “I just don’t think I can do this”? If you do, repeating these
things can keep you from having new experiences that could be beneficial
to you.
So the next time you catch yourself having self-doubts, stop
yourself. You need to get yourself out of a negative frame of mind.
Replace it with a positive thought.
Look at the bright side of things. Don’t let your insecurities get
the better of you. If you’ve failed in the past, so what? You’re
actually better off now because you know what you did before that caused
you to fail so you’ve got an opportunity to not do those things. Learn
to live in the moment and look at things in a more positive light.
If you’ve gotten accustomed to negative self-talk, it’s time to break
the habit. Whenever you have self-doubts, change gears. You’re good
enough. Learn to praise yourself, and most of all, learn to be more kind
to yourself. Give yourself a break.
2. Learn to be more forgiving of yourself, especially when you’re feeling insecure about yourself.
If you make a mistake, don’t berate yourself or worse, beat yourself
up for days. You’ll only feel even worse if you do. If you make a
mistake, it means you’re human. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or a
stupid person.
Nobody’s perfect. Acknowledge your faults but in the process, strive
to give your 100% best in everything you do. When you’re faced with a
difficult challenge, look at it as your chance to learn something
completely new. It’s your chance to be a better person than you are now.
3. Create a list.
On the left column, write down all those self-doubts you’ve got right
at this moment. On the right column, list positive things disputing
your self-doubts.
Let’s say your boss gave you a completely new task and right away you
feel you can’t do that task because you don’t believe you’ve got the
skills to do it.
On the left column, you can write something like, “I’m not skilled to
do this task.” On the right column, you can write something like, “My
boss gave me this task because I’m a fast learner and he knows he can
rely on me to get the job done.”
Keep listing positive reasons on the right column. Go through your
talents and good qualities until you’ve got a much longer list of
positives than the negatives.
4. Write an uplifting letter to yourself.
Write about your positive qualities. How did you manage to beat
obstacles? Make yourself remember what you did. If possible, recall a
specific instance when you had self-doubts, but you overcame them
anyway. It’s good to remind yourself of such things.
Write as if you were writing to a friend whose spirit needs to be
lifted up. Letter writing is a powerful way to get rid of all those
insecurities you have. By the time you’re done writing yourself a
positive letter, you’ll be smiling and feeling so much better about
yourself.
Save the letters you write to yourself. Keep them in a folder and
read them every so often, especially when you feel those self-doubts
creeping up.
5. Create an appreciation folder.
What’s an appreciation folder? It’s simply a place where you put all
those kinds words you get from other people. Whenever you’re having
self-doubt, it’s not too difficult to get into a negative frame of mind
and forget about all those good things that people told you in
appreciation when you did something to help them or you made them feel
better in one way or another.
Print out thank-you emails, notes, and cards from people who
appreciate you. Whenever that inner critic starts to rear its ugly head,
get your appreciation folder out and read what others have said to you.
When you’re always doubting yourself, you’re robbing yourself of the
chance to not just be successful but be happy in life. It’s quite normal
to have self-doubts once in a while, but you need to have that ability
to silence your inner critic and move on.
Apply these strategies regularly and you’ll be able to minimize those
self-doubts. The only way you’ll have positive new experiences is if
you’re more self-confident.
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