Have you ever felt paralyzed by somebody else’s perfection?
Afraid to move forward out of fear of failure? Looking down on your own
hard earned achievements when there is somebody who in your mind is
better in the world. Trust me, you are not alone.
Does it have to be like that? I say no and I will share 3
simple rules that will help you accept non-perfection when perfection is
holding you back.
Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good. – Voltaire
I love blues music, more specifically I love blues
harmonica. Ever since my teens I have tried to listen to every recording
I can find of blues harmonica and ever since I got my first harp for
Christmas more than 25 years ago I have been (trying) to make my own
music.
Living in Sweden I had a big problem for a long time, it is impossible to find a teacher. The 10-hole diatonic harmonica
is considered a toy rather than a musical instrument. Anyone who has
listened to Sonny Boy Williamson, Little Walter & Big Walter Horton
would definitely disagree.
For very many years I was at the mercy of my ears to learn
to play, not a bad thing in itself since that is the way many of the old
masters learned to play. However I felt I needed more turned to the
books I could find. Then about 8 years ago I was fortunate enough to
meet a proper teacher.
At this point I thought I was home free, I was sure that
this was the thing that was going to take me from being a good harmonica
player (in my mind I was good) to a great player. Oh,how wrong I was.
I really quickly realised that what I thought was good (i.e
my own playing) was close to catastrophe. This was a rude awakening and
it was only my love for listening to blues harmonica that kept me
going. I had to start all over.
Many months went into just getting the basics right but I
also felt that the work was paying off. I could notice definite
improvement all the time. Now it was time an even bigger hurdle.
Since my ears had opened I now understood what good playing
and great playing really sounded like. The bad thing was that I now
knew that my level of playing was no where near the level I wanted to be
at. What was worse, I didn’t understand how to reach that level either.
Paralysis by analysis, I guess it’s called. Why was I
wasting my time doing something I would never master (whatever that
means)? This was a difficult time.
Every time I played I had my own little review going on in
the back of my mind and the result was always negative. Once again I had
to dig deep to keep going. My teacher and fellow students were very
helpful in pointing out the progress I failed to see myself.
This might have been the end of my favorite hobby, what
saved it was a sudden realization after many discussions with my
harmonica buddies. I had forgotten why I was playing, perfection was not
my original goal. Somehow I had unintentionally shifted my goals, from
having fun and playing well to perfection.
This may seem like a small shift of focus but I can tell
you that the impact is huge! From enjoyable activity to burden in no
time.
After realizing this it was quite easy to get the joy back
into my playing. Perfection is still what I strive for but it is not a
bar I have to pass over, it is merely a reference now. Playing is fun
and interesting again.
Looking back at my little journey I would summarize it like
this: enthusiasm-practice-false sense of mastery-rude
awakening-practice-despair-acceptance-enthusiasm. I expect a lot of
people go through a similar cycle with their hobbies.
Looking back there a few things that can make this circle
much easier to get through. Remember, this can be applied to anything
you do, it is not confined to music.
1 - Don’t try to evolve in a vacuum. Team up
with people with similar interest and get a teacher if possible. This
will make your own assessment of how good you are much sharper. No more
sense of false mastery.
2 - Remind yourself of why you started. You
most likely started a hobby out of pure interest, it was never meant to
become a burden. Writing down why you started is a powerful way of
always being able to go back and check.
3 - Define your own level to attain. Set
achievable goals and update them continuously to grow with your skill
level. Don’t make the mistake of setting a goal of becoming world
champion right away. That should be your vision, not your first
attainable goal.
Following these easy rules will make sure that although you still
strive for perfection in the long run it will not take the fun out of
being good.
How do you deal with perfection?
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